Dear Sir in the SUV

Dear Sir in the SUV that is dangerously close to nipping the rear end of my might-fall-apart-if-one-more-thing-goes-wrong car,

One word sprang into my mind as you flew up behind me with no signs of slowing or stopping. Scary. It may have escaped your attention but no one on this freeway is going faster than 2 mph at present except for you. Lucky for you to find that small patch of available space in which to shave a second off your commute time. Of course, if you do happen to hit me, you'll be adding hours of time and headache into both of our lives.

It may surprise you, but I think I have an option for you. A way in which you can experience the full speed your nifty little vehicle was designed for. A way you might be able to control the road and switch lanes without inciting the wrath of everyone else on the freeway.

Leave Southern California. And do not move to New York. Don't even consider Boston. And steer clear of any other metropolitan area. The countryside will probably work best for you. And don't feel alone. You will not be the only one.

Thank you for taking the time reflect seriously on my suggestion.

Sincerely,

Girl in the car you almost hit.