The Daily Grind

"I can't find my place on the tape."
"That's as good as it's going to get."
"I can't say that right."

These are just some of the phrases I hear a million times a day. And each time, I must patiently help my student find their place on the tape, encourage them that I KNOW they can do better, or admonish them to stop worrying about the pronunciation of words, and focus on the meaning.
It's part of my job as a tutor for reading improvement with a methodology that is contrary to what most people learned in school. I work with adults who are often embarrassed about their reading skills and many times speak limited English. (but NOT always) It's not that they can't read, it's just that they were labeled as "poor readers" in school and reading has always been both a tremendous chore and a source of shame. It doesn't have to be that way. In fact I feel pretty passionately that it doesn't have to be that way. I believe in what I do, I've seen lives changed. I've seen people go from being relunctant to read out loud to their kids to doing it enthusiastically. I've watched people confidently read passages without error, that would have been impossible for them when they started the program. I've heard my students talk about how they read for pleasure for the first time in their lives or how they now read the mail that comes to their house that they ignored before.

Maybe you're thinking, wow what a great job! You really get to make a difference!

I don't always feel that way. Because the company has made this program mandatory, many students, who already associate reading with all things bad, drag their feet. Sometimes they yell. They complain bitterly. They demand to know why I'm qualified. (have I ever mentioned that I look 15?) They "forget" to come and force me to call their supervisors. Sometimes I get tired of the tedious work, the repetition that is so important to succeeding with this program. And to my great shame, sometimes I lose patience.

So today, one of my students couldn't come. I'm reading random blog posts and I come across this one. It's about improving literacy in your children. And I snap out of the mega funk I've been in. I feel a jolt of emotion, feeling, and I must say something. I must speak up about reading, because I've seen a different side to the reading debate. And the best time to prevent reading problems is before a child learns to read. I feel a renewed sense of purpose in what I am doing in this period of my life. A new sense of passion.

How often is life like that? It's absolutely no wonder that in Galatians Paul says, "So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. " (NLT) We do grow weary even when we know in our heads and hearts that what we do matters and that is it important. It is easier to become cynical and jaded and to stop putting our hearts into it.

For me anyway.