Thankful Thursday (A Thursday Thirteen)

Do you guys remember Thursday Thirteen? It was one of the first memes I ever participated in with my blog. I think it's still going...like if you want to make a list of thirteen things and share them with blogging strangers you can. I haven't done one in ages, but I've been wanting to revive it for probably a year or so. I like the idea of making lists and some of the ones I've done in the past need revision. Thirteen is a huge number and can be really hard, but I like it. And it offers more freedom than something like Top Ten Tuesday which is thematic and book focused.

So for my first venture back into Thursday Thirteen, I give you a list of things I'm thankful for. Yesterday was my birthday and to be honest I was dreading it a little bit. The past few years have turned my life into something I almost don't recognize and at times I feel stuck in a way I can't seem to get out of (cue: U2 song). And lately I've felt sad over feeling like I no longer really have a place or much to offer the blogging community anymore. Basically, every time I think things have gotten as bad as they can, they manage to get just a little bit worse. This sounds really dire and horrible and it's not as bad as all that. But...I want you to understand a little bit about how I've been feeling. Also, I'm a melancholy person and I actively struggle against falling into a funk. Anyway, my birthday had some really lovely surprises and some moments that reminded me that my life really has so much good stuff in it. So I give you thirteen things I'm thankful for:

(I'm excluding basic things like shelter, food, etc.)

Family

I really do love my family! I have two great parents who just recently celebrated 40 years of being married! And I have a wonderful, smart, funny, and cool brother who is going to be a dad for the first time in October. I have a really sweet and fun sister, too, who shares a few loves of mine so few people do. I don't get to see either of them as much as I'd like, but I always enjoy it so much when I do. And I have three amazing nieces! They are all three brilliant and beautiful and kind and funny and pure delights. I'm sorry for all of you who don't them to be honest. And I have a brother-in-law who can be a real encouragement to me and a sister-in-law who is very thoughtful and creative.

Friends

Yay, friends! The people who choose to like you and spend time with you. I'm so thankful for all of my friends. Which means all of you. Thanks for all of your kind birthday wishes yesterday on Facebook and Twitter and via email. And thanks to my friends who put together a very special online present for me, you know who you are <3. It really truly made my day, I don't think you can know how much. The Community That's Still Here

So often we're talking about how much the book blogging community has changed and how so many people have stopped blogging. And sometimes I'm thinking not just of the book blogging community, but also my entire online life. It's so crazy to me how much I've changed as a blogger. But you know what...how amazing is it that so many people are still around?!? Like it's truly awesome so many people are still blogging and talking about books together. It's so cool! I think sometimes I admittedly feel a little bit of panic over online relationships in a way I don't over offline ones...like, my offline relationships usually end because someone is moving, like wow is that ever the story of my life. But online people can get bored or run out of time, they might blog enthusiastically all the time and then suddenly stop and you barely ever talk anymore, if at all. So the fact that so many people don't do that is amazing. There's still so many of us around and it's wonderful. Now stay!

Books

Of course, lol. No but really, I am still thankful to be literate and to love reading. I love reading books that become a part of me and inform the way I see other stories. I still love the smell of new books and I love books that spark conversations. I like getting excited about books coming out and I still like talking about books. So yay books!

Blogging

I still like blogging. I...write a lot of posts that I wonder if they make sense outside of my head. But you know, even if they don't I like that I have the option to hit publish and find out. I like the immediacy of blogging...instant feedback! And sometimes I like having a record of my thoughts. Other times it's humiliating!

Awesome commenters

This kind of combines two other categories, but it's THIRTEEN things I have to think of, okay?!? I am really super thankful for commenters like Kathy. She was one of my first book blogging friends and built quite a reputation for loyally leaving comments. But yesterday, she was so sweet to check in with me a few times on my birthday. And it reminded me of why I love her. She's just so thoughtful and I always feel like she's really actually my friend. (that may sound odd, but if any of you have experienced "do they like me or are they using me bc of my blog" you understand!) There are more of you who leave really thoughtful comments as well or frequently leave comments and I hope you know that you are always appreciated by me!

Good TV

After getting burned on some stupid TV shows, it's been nice to love some really good ones. The only downside is that not enough of you watch Borgen, or The Americans or Orphan Black, or Hannibal. But I'll get you there! And besides, maybe under the radar is better sometimes.

Music

I feel almost ridiculous including this because there's so little music that really means a lot to me these days. But there's still Andrew Peterson. I still, forever, always love his music in a way that can't be explained. It's like...more than music--it's a part of my life.

Air conditioning

Does not count under shelter okay? And trust me if you lived where I live you'd be so thankful, too!

Learning

I am always learning. And I'm glad about it. I'm so ridiculously, stupidly thankful that my knowledge doesn't have to be stagnant, that I don't have to stay the same person I am right now. How I see the world now is not the way I will always see the world. Like...I can't even imagine how much I've changed on this front in just one year. And I have things like the internet and blogging to thank for exposing me to new ideas and kind of...ugh what's the word. Providing a system of checks and balances. It's like...I get exposed to a new idea and learn learn learn about it but there's always some opposing voices that help me sharpen and refine and I love that so much.

Humor

I joke sometimes that I don't have a sense of humor because I don't enjoy comedies on TV much or in the movies for that matter. But..I actually do really love to laugh I just have an odd sense of humor. Like the stupidest stuff can make me laugh for days. Anyway, I'm thankful for humor and laughter especially in such a difficult world.

Failure

To be honest, I don't feel very thankful for failure at the moment. But I know failure is how we learn and I do really wish our world was more gentle with failure. We act like it's the end of the world or a life, but it's not. We all have to do it. I think...failing with grace is an amazing thing and I still have more respect for people who can own their failures than those who try to cover it up.

Readers of this Blog

Yeah yeah I already said friends but...I really am thankful for ALL of you. Thanks for sticking around for so long and reading this blog and for all of your insightful fun comments. You make my life better.